How to Talk to Your Dancer About Results

Results time at a Feis can stir up all the emotions - not just for your dancer, but for you too 💚 You want to celebrate their hard work, comfort them if they’re disappointed, and find the right words in the moment…but sometimes it feels like there’s no perfect script to follow.

The truth is, your dancer will always look to you first 👀. Long before results are announced, they’re scanning your face when they come off stage. That’s why one of the most powerful things you can do is lead with love ❤️. Notice their effort, their bravery, their joy. A simple “I loved how powerful you looked out there” or “It takes real courage to step up like that” goes much further than diving straight into corrections.

When results do come, it helps to shift the focus from outcome to effort. Placings are out of your dancer’s control, but how they danced, what they learned, and how they grew are wins worth talking about. Asking gentle questions like “What are you most proud of today?” or “What’s one thing you want to carry into your next Feis?” gives them space to reflect and reminds them that progress is bigger than a number on a results sheet.

Of course, sometimes the result stings 💔. And that’s okay. Disappointment is a natural part of caring deeply about something. Instead of trying to sweep those feelings away, validate them: “I can see you’re upset, and that just shows how much this means to you.” By allowing your dancer to feel heard, you’re teaching them resilience and emotional strength - the same tools they’ll carry into every challenge, inside and outside of dance ✨

Most importantly, help your dancer separate who they are from what they placed. They are not their medal or their championship result. They are hardworking, determined, brave, and learning skills that will serve them far beyond Irish dance. Results don’t always reflect progress, so celebrate the invisible wins too - the corrections they nailed, the nerves they managed, and the joy they brought to the stage.

At the end of the day, what you say matters less than how you make them feel 💖. If they walk away knowing they are loved, supported, and valued no matter how they have danced or what the results sheet says, then you’ve given them the greatest gift.

If you’d like more tools to help your dancer build confidence, resilience, and performance skills, the MWM Gold Club is the perfect place. It’s where dancers (and parents!) get guidance, support, and a community that understands the highs and the lows of competition life.