Letting Go of Perfectionism in Dancing

Perfectionism can look like dedication, like high standards, like “wanting to do well”.

But for so many dancers, perfectionism quietly becomes the thing that steals the joy from dancing.

It sounds like:

• “It’s not good enough.”
  
  
• “Everyone else is better.”
  
  
• “I’ve failed.”
  
  
• “I should be further by now.”
  
  

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone, and more importantly…nothing is wrong with you.

Let’s talk about what perfectionism really is… and how to gently let go of it, without lowering your standards or your dreams.

What Perfectionism Looks Like in Irish Dance

Perfectionism doesn’t always show up loudly. Often, it’s subtle.

It can look like:

• repeating the same step again and again until frustration kicks in
  
  
• crying or shutting down after small mistakes
  
  
• needing constant reassurance
  
  
• avoiding trying new things in case you “get it wrong”
  
  
• feeling proud only when results are “good enough”
  
  

From the outside, it can look like commitment. On the inside, it often feels heavy, anxious, and exhausting.

Why Perfectionism Feels So Common in Dancers

Irish dance is precise.
Structured.
Detailed.
Judged.

So it makes sense that dancers start believing they need to be perfect to succeed.

But perfectionism doesn’t come from high expectations alone…it usually comes from fear:

• fear of disappointing others
  
  
• fear of not being good enough
  
  
• fear of being judged
  
  
• fear of wasting effort
  
  

And fear never helps learning stick.

What Perfectionism Actually Does to Your Dancing

Here’s the part most dancers don’t realise, perfectionism doesn’t make you better, it makes you more stressed..

It:

• increases tension
  
  
• shuts down confidence
  
  
• slows learning
  
  
• makes dancing feel stressful instead of safe
  
  

Your body learns best when it feels:

• calm
  
  
• curious
  
  
• supported
  
  
• allowed to make mistakes
  
  

Progress doesn’t come from pressure. It comes from permission.

The Difference Between High Standards and Perfectionism

This part matters.

High standards sound like:

• “I want to improve.”
  
  
• “I’m willing to practise consistently.”
  
  
• “Mistakes help me learn.”
  
  

Perfectionism sounds like:

• “I must get this right.”
  
  
• “I can’t mess up.”
  
  
• “If it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing.”
  
  

You can be ambitious without being unkind to yourself.

How to Gently Let Go of Perfectionism

Letting go doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means changing how you approach growth.

1. Shift From “Right or Wrong”

There is no failed session only information.

Try asking yourself:

• What did I notice today?
  
  
• What felt easier than last week?
  
  
• What am I understanding better now?
  
  

Curiosity replaces criticism and confidence grows.

2. Practise “Imperfect Reps” on Purpose

Instead of repeating until it’s flawless, try this:

• Do the movement once
  
  
• Accept that it won’t be perfect
  
  
• Move on
  
  
• Come back to it later
  
  

This trains your brain to feel safe with progress, not stuck chasing perfection.

3. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcomes

Confidence builds when effort is recognised.

At the end of a dance class, name:

• one thing you pushed yourself to do
  
  
• one thing you tried
  
  
• one thing you’re proud of
  
  

This teaches your brain that trying matters.

4. Remember: Mistakes Are Part of Skill-Building

No dancer improves in a straight line. Wobbles, off days, forgotten steps - they are all part of learning something new.

If you only allow yourself to feel proud when everything goes perfectly, you’ll miss 90% of your growth.

5. Keep the Bigger Picture in Mind

Dancing isn’t about being perfect. It’s about expression, strength, resilience, confidence, and joy.

The dancers who thrive long-term aren’t the ones who never make mistakes - they’re the ones who don’t let mistakes define them.

For Parents: How to Support a Perfectionist Dancer

If your dancer struggles with perfectionism, your words matter more than you realise.

Try replacing:

• “You’ll get it next time”
  with
  
  
• “I’m proud of how hard you tried.”
  
  

Or:

• “Why did you make that mistake?”
  with
  
  
• “What did you learn from that?”
  
  

Safety builds confidence. Confidence builds progress.

A Final Reminder for Every Dancer Reading This

You are allowed to:

• learn slowly
  
  
• make mistakes
  
  
• have off days
  
  
• enjoy dancing again
  
  

Perfection is not the goal. Progress, understanding, and confidence are and they come much faster when you’re kind to yourself.

✨ Want Support Letting Go of Perfectionism?

Inside the MWM Gold Club 2.0, dancers learn how to:

• train with intention, not pressure
  
• understand their corrections
• build confidence from the inside out
• develop a healthy mindset around progress
   
• feel safe asking questions and trying new things

With movement support from me and mindset guidance from Annabelle, we help dancers grow without burnout.

You don’t need to be perfect to improve…you just need the right support.