Why Feis Days Can Feel So Hard for Parents (and Dancers)

And what you can do to make them feel calmer, smoother, and more like a team again

Feis days aren’t just hard for dancers…they’re hard for parents too.

The early start.
The rushing.
The emotions.
The pressure of wanting everything to go well.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, things can feel… tense.

👉 A comment gets taken the wrong way
👉 A simple question turns into frustration
👉 You try to help… and suddenly it feels like you’ve made things worse

And you’re left thinking:

“Why does this feel so difficult when I’m only trying to support them?”

💭 The Truth About Feis Days

Feis days bring out a unique kind of pressure - for both dancers and parents.

Because it’s not just about dancing.

It’s about:

• Expectations
• Emotions
• Time pressure
• And wanting everything to go “right”

Let’s break down what’s really going on 👇

😬 For Dancers: It’s More Than Just a Competition

Your dancer might look fine on the outside…but inside, they’re often juggling:

1. Nerves

Even confident dancers feel them.

And nerves don’t always look how you’d expect - they can show up as:

• Snappiness
• Quietness
• Frustration
• Wanting space

👉 Tip for parents:
Instead of asking lots of questions before they go on stage, try:

• “I’m right here if you need me 💚”
• A simple smile or reassuring presence

Sometimes less is more, even with younger dancers.

2. Pressure (Even If You Don’t Say It)

Your dancer might be thinking:

• “I need to do well today”
• “What if I mess up?”
• “I want to make everyone proud”

👉 Tip for parents:
Before they go on, shift the focus away from results:

• “I am so proud of your hard work”
• “Enjoy being on stage”

This helps reduce performance pressure instantly.

3. Emotional Overload

By the end of a Feis, your dancer has:

• Waited around for hours
• Performed under pressure
• Compared themselves to others
• Replayed their dance in their head

It’s a lot.

👉 Tip for parents:
After they come off stage, pause before speaking.

Let them:

• Breathe
• Process
• Come to you

You don’t need to fill the silence straight away.

😓 For Parents: You’re Feeling It Too

Parents often carry a different kind of pressure:

• Wanting to help
• Wanting to say the right thing
• Wanting their dancer to feel good
• Trying to stay calm when things feel stressful

And when your dancer reacts emotionally…it can feel personal.

💥 Why It Sometimes Turns Into Conflict

This is where the disconnect happens…

You say:
👉 “You were brilliant!”

They say:
👉 “No I wasn’t.”

You suggest:
👉 “Maybe just point your toes more next time”

They hear:
👉 “You think I am rubbish too” or “I’ve let you down”. 

🚗 The Car Ride Home (The Big One)

This is where emotions often peak.

You might get:

• Silence
• Short answers
• Tears
• Frustration

And it’s so tempting to:

• Ask questions
• Analyse the result
• Try to “make it better”

👉 Try this instead:

✔️ Option 1: Give Space First

“Do you want to chat now or later?”

✔️ Option 2: Validate Before Anything Else

“I can see that meant a lot to you.”

✔️ Option 3: Keep It Simple

“I’m really proud of you for how much responsibility you took today.”

No over-talking.
No over-explaining.

Just presence.

❤️ What Actually Makes the Biggest Difference

Feis days don’t need to feel like a battle.

Small changes can completely shift the experience from:
👉 Stressful and emotional
to
👉 Calm, supportive, and connected

It’s not about being perfect.

It’s about understanding:

• What your dancer is feeling
• Why they react the way they do
• How to support them in that moment

✨ If You’ve Ever Thought…

• “I don’t know what to say anymore…”
• “Everything I say feels wrong…”
• “I just want to help them feel better…”

You are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong.

🎓 Behind Every Great Irish Dancer

From Feis Day Friction to Feeling Like a Team

This is our first ever Masterclass for Parents! Hosted by Annabelle Nunnery (MWM Mindset Coach)

This session is designed to help you:

• Understand what’s really going on in your dancer’s mind
• Know exactly what to say (and what to avoid)
• Support them through nerves, pressure, and emotions
• Feel calmer and more confident on Feis days
• Build a stronger, more connected parent-dancer relationship

✨ So it doesn’t feel like a battle anymore…and it feels like you’re on the same team again

📅 Masterclass Details

• Date: 21st May 2026
• Time: 8:30 PM UK (BST) + global times available
• Duration: ~60 minutes
• Live Q&A 
• Recording: Sent to all who register
• Cameras: On or off - completely up to you
• Investment: £9 per family

👉 Join the masterclass and feel like a team again ✨